Holes.

Well in this case there's just one hole. A giant God-sized hole. I learned something new about myself the other day while at Revolution 143 (my youth group for all who don't know). It was question and answer night regarding relationships. I've never been in one before nor did I think I would be in one anytime soon. I did have some experiences but both had been over for awhile so I knew I was going to have any questions or learn anything i needed. But I was wrong. I had not been paying attention for the majority of the time but for some reason when the next question was asked I started to pay attention. (this had to be an act of God) The question was: How do you get over someone when all you can think about is being with them? That's when I realized I hadn't really squashed one of my past experiences. Rami(youth leader that i love) answered the question. In short she said that there is this thing in "Christianese" called a God-sized hole. A God-sized hole is a hole that is inside someone that can only be filled by God and His love. Yet most people tend to fill it up with things like drugs, sex, or in my case the hope of a relationship. I have never heard of this before, but as soon as I heard it, I knew it applied to me. I never looked at my problem as having a hole inside me that I fill with things that can't in a million years fill up.
Now that I do know about it, I've decided to do all I can to continue to seek God's love and ask that His love will fill me up ten-fold. This has not gone unchallenged though. As I try to better my life I continue to be remind by the things that I really want to fill my hole up with. Even at church.
I know I can get through this. It's just the question of when?